The Main Event - EPISODE I

PROLOUGE:

If I don’t learn anything else while in Tunisia, I will at least know what to expect from life…the unexpected.

Throughout my time here I have been especially pensive and had the opportunity to truly search myself and reach out to “ me “ that has been a bit lost in recent times. Many things in the past year (let alone 2, 3, 8, or 10) have shaken the foundation that I was used to standing on. I have since begun to truly challenge myself and live my life as if it may be my last. There is a profound power and respect that I have found in the 24 hours we are given in day. So much can be accomplished, and so much can be explored and found. Each day is another journey, and should be treated as such, no matter where you are in the world. There are things in this life that need to be expressed, explored, discovered, and repeated each day. There are barriers in life, but there are also bulldozers to break through them or loop – holes to get around them…they just have to be sought after. Everyday is a challenge…to get that last project done at work or school and done well, to take a different way to work, to look at the same things in a different light, to love the one you miss….with all your soul….despite the agony of uncertainty, to ask yourself “am I living the way I really want to live?”, etc. The biggest challenges anyone will face on any given day at any given time is their selves. In life you have to endure a “long suffering” for what you want, you will have to sacrifice EVERY OUNCE of EVERYTHING you want…for what you need, and you will have to remember to laugh, despite the pain…despite sorrow….despite the 1 million and 1 ways the world tries to bring you down, and choose the road…that fits you.

My road has led me here.

I am in Tunisia… full of fear, lingering doubt, a heavy heart, insatiable uncertainty, clouded thoughts…combated with a renewed sense of order, and unwavering thirst for knowledge, an ever surprising “ poetic” fervor, re-energized inquisitive nature, the determination of pit-bull, and a battle-hardened faith.

By no means do I have it all together, and Lord knows I DEFINITELY don’t have “what” I want…but….life provokes me still.

To this day I’m not, exactly, sure why I am here specifically in Tunisia and specifically at this time. Logically one could look at my decisions and make the following inquisitive statements…

1) You left behind the home and family that you love and haven’t truly spent time with in 5 years.
2) You left the “self-proclaimed” and “socially visible” love – of – your – life alone, with no promise of tomorrow and lack of a proper “not – bye”.
3) You left behind genuine opportunities for employment that most recent graduates and young adults are dreaming of and begging for.
4) You have major financial obligations to attend to, without any significant savings, let alone enough money to gallivant around Tunisia for 6 months.
5) You do not know French, and even less Arabic, and you are going to Arabic country (as a Christian), with little knowledge of what to expect or how or where to live.

And the obvious question would be …. “Why? “

And the honest answer would be… “I don’t know. I just had to go.”

There are tons of possibilities for what “could” happen as a result of my being in Tunisia, some of which are good, and most of which are not. If fact most of these inquisitive statements could end in ABSOLUTE DIASTER, aside from Chicago disappearing and my family disowning me. My only solace is a feeling in my heart that…”things will be alright.”

With that said I have already begun to witness how Tunisia has changed me, and solidified the “essence” of my personality.

I still stand at the doorstep of opportunity; in fact I am surrounded by doors. So, not knowing what the future holds, and not taking things for granted….I figure I’ll try as many as I can , without sacrificing what I believe, who I am, who I want to be with, and where I want to be.

The largest door being that of this “Salaam Program” traineeship I find myself in the midst of. I have dreamed of being on traineeship since the very first time I heard of Aiesec almost 6 years ago. And thanks to those who are near to my heart and those that, still, hold my heart for “safe – keeping”, I realized that must fulfill this journey and do it in a way that challenges me more than I have ever been challenged before. I realize that if it were not for the strength of those that stand in my corner and cheer, clap, and weep while I am away, then I could have made a grave mistake in my life and would be fatally diagnosed with misdirection and lack of personal fulfillment.

To my family: Mom, Dad, Jessica – you all may never how much of an inspiration you’ve been to me in my life to persevere and to remember that’s its ok “to be me.” You supported me in countless ways and I can’t wait to see you guys soon. I love you all very much. OH, and tell Daisy I said hello too.

To Melissa Shields: “Less than optimal situation” doesn’t quite capture how I feel now, but despite the situation, you have remained a steadfast supporter and inspiration me on on-going adventure and journey to complete “my story.” I have been in love with you, since before I could comprehend the word itself and for as long as time will allow me to recollect. Finding you has been a blessing in my life beyond human comprehension, it my hope to find you again, one day. You’ve challenged and always asked me the hardest questions, and have been relentless in your search for the “real answers” in me and in your own life. I only offer the same unwavering support and inquisitive nature, that has be so impacting in my life’s decisions, in all of your life’s endeavors. Thank you for being you, and allowing me to be.

To my dearest friends: I can’t possibly mention everyone and have any more time to complete my blog, but I thank God for all of you. You are truly children of the world and are from just about every corner, or have been, in the world. Your knowledge, encouragement, and gifts have allowed me to take advantage of each and every thing that Tunisia has to offer. I can not wait to see you all again, and thank you individually. From the tour guides, study materials, gifts in the mail, random late night talks, road – trips, IM’s, open ears, and for always making sure my ego is “in-check” or non-existent rather….I thank you. I love you guys and I will be able to kick you all in the butt when I get home.

My trip to the south was absolutely amazing. I went with 6 others, but I can honestly say I spent at least one portion of EVERY DAY alone, in some sense, and just thinking about my life. I’ve never had so many contemplative moments and soul searching opportunities in a single trip. For a kid who loves to travel, and talks the way he thinks, I could not help but be grateful for every thing I have and everyone I have near and dear to me in my life.

So for everyone reading this, thank you for sharing your lives with me, and following “My story.” These are only wayward thoughts from my heart and mind, but your kind words and your devotion to keeping up with them definitely add a few extra smiles in my day. I hope that this particular story reaches you well, and returns the favor.

PRE-QUELS:

Ok, without a doubt…when I was gathering my thoughts and possible itineraries for this trip all the Star Wars Universe lore was my guiding light. For those that are unaware I have a healthy obsession with the epic story and have always dreaming of traveling to the “Birth Place” of this time-less saga. After 28 years of filming (not continuous), the saga will finally come to a close this coming May on the 19th day. Making this “pilgrimage” was not only the pleasure of a lifetime…it was necessary! And with true and utmost respect to the saga my voyage to the southern region of Tunisia was anything but “normal” and had the “muses of Hollywood” intricately entwined in every portion of the trip. After realizing the other worldly amount of events that had occurred to my comrades and I on this trip, I had no other choice but to divide to information into sections. In fact the information was so immense that the only “respectful” way to report the events would be in “Episodes.” So for those that aspire to be the first to watch the Star Wars movies in NUMERICAL order, you will be ecstatic that I have chosen to document my trip from Episodes I unto VI. And in true “Star Wars” fashion, I will ration the saga out over the next few weeks as to build a dramatic coup. ; )

Without further ado, I invite you all into a story of epic proportion 24 years in the making, set “A long time ago…..in a galaxy far, far, away….”

EPISODE I

ANXIOUS ANTICIPATION:

The whole week I was incredibly anxious and preoccupied with one thing….the car. I was more than confident that, once we arrived in the South we could maneuver our way around enough to find food and shelter. I was confident in the fact that we had enough money for gas and to make it back. I was even confident in the route to get there, despite lacking an atlas or road map. But, the two scariest things still loomed large over my head

1) How to secure the rental car?
2) How to drive in Tunisia?

I had spent 2 months taking taxis, and riding in cars with other native Tunisians, and saw how they drive, with a general reckless abandon, some even with a death wish. So driving one this trip would definitely be interesting. Thanks to my buddy Imen, we were able to hook up with Ali to make a reservation for a large vehicle for a small vehicle price (as I mention in the Pre – Main Event blog). I had been very sick during time when the trip should’ve been nearing its planning completion, so essentially we put together the trip in about 4 days. Which, in hindsight, is probably one of the reasons Imen declined the opportunity to join us. Anyhow, things were pretty hectic for me during those last days, as I could TASTE the south (little did I know I would later …very literally), and all that stood in my way was one guy, Ali (who looks a bit cracked out), the security deposit for the car, and finding a strategic way to exit the airport while having a blatant disregard for the seatbelt restrictions in Tunisia (we had a 5 person car…with 7 people inside).

It seemed as if that Thursday would never come, for awhile, so when it finally did, the whole day was more or less surreal for me.

First step: Acquire the Belgian trainee Chris, and secure communication with the others

Chris is our local Belgian trainee, who is ethnically German, so he speaks fluent German, French and English. In typical German fashion…he arrived at my office 10 minutes before 6 pm. And in typical Jeff fashion, I had to have a meeting with my boss at the end of the day was couldn’t meet him until 6:30 pm in the Lobby.

Great.

But all was not lost as we were supposed to meet Mariska and Lotfi at the airport at 6:45pm, in order to get the car and leave Tunis by 7:30 or 8 pm. Fortunately , and not, for me Mariska has much larger issues with being on time then I do, and Lotfi has he moments as well, and soon I would realize this would be one of them. We made it to the airport in time, but as foreseen there was no Mariska and / or Lotfi.

Ordinarily this wouldn’t have been a problem, these sort of things are…not unusual, but this day Mariska had agreed to be the brave soul to leave her credit card as a deposit. And for fear of not being able to EXACTLY communicate my wishes (some may say I have some experience in the car rental business) Lotfi’s presence and most importantly Arabic language skills would have come in handy. Yet, we pressed on, and with my most determined and stubborn personas, I entered the airport and searched for our wiry, wily character named Ali.

Not 2 minutes through the doors, Ali burst out from a group of Tunisian gentlemen drinking coffee and cloud of smoke (very VERY commonplace here), and shook my and, we exchanged “Aslema’s” and got down to business.

Up until this point, I was under the impression (some how) that Ali was the guy we’d be dealing with…but I should’ve known better.

He takes us to the door of the car rental agency and then asks for my phone. As I had sold a kidney and killed to sheep to be able to afford this trip, I was penny pinching and didn’t have enough money to call …so we just differed to Chris. He then tells me, (in French) “We have to call the proprietor, who will actually be the person making the deal” (someone I had yet to meet, hear of, or speak with), so I was very excited. ; )
He hands me the phone and I hear some English, which was nice, and the proprietor was on his way.

As soon as I hung up the phone, Ali grabs my arm and pulls Chris closer, and he says “Ok, when the proprietor gets here, say NOTHING about going to south. You WILL NOT go to the south. Only to Hammamet or Sousse and around Tunis.” All the while he highlighted his point with a finger over his mouth shhhh-ing us. And then he wraps up by saying “Oh, and he understands English perfectly as well, so don’t say anything in English or anything!”

Awesome…I knew then that this would prove to be interesting experience as I had Chris, he tends to get what I like to call “diarrhea of the mouth” and cannot control his questions. I had Lotfi coming and Mariska on their way and would have to make sure EVERYONE knew the deal and didn’t screw up our chances of making this trip. It was actually kinda fun in hindsight, but nerve racking as ever!

Not seconds later the proprietor shows up, and the game is now on.

And I’m thinking ….how in the heck am I going to dance my way around this and stall in time for Mariska to get here?

So I just added some playful banter, made my best French / Arabic introduction, and smiled a lot. And thank God, Mariska showed up soon there after.

THE DEAL:

So as soon as Mariska arrived, I excused myself for a moment, and went to relay “Ali’s “message. With stunning resolve she picked up the flow and joined me and Chris into the car rental office. All was going well, the guy seemed to be pretty easy going, and asked us, “How much did you make the reservation for?” At this point Ali stepped in and after a few heated moments of Arabic…the guy agreed and moved on…but visibly not as accepting any longer. We began the paperwork, and made some small talk. The “P” asked us where we were going and when we’d be back. Mariska and I mentioned the fact that Chris was a friend who had just arrived and that other friends would be with us as we went to the beach and traveled around.

It was at this point that Chris made is move.

Out of nowhere he says…”yea, I hope they aren’t any scorpions where we’ll be sleeping in the sand.”

Right.

I blinked for a second and prayed that the “P “hadn’t put two and two together.

Mariska, doing an amazing supporting role immediately said “I don’t think there are any scorpions on the beach, Chris.”

And just for added value I said “Yea, we’re way in the NORTH there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.” With a sly glance I reached for my phone to “see” if Lotfi had called. There were no missed calls, but I figured I’d make the suggestion that “Maybe” Chris should go wait for Lotfi….on the other side of the airport!

Yes…literally….there could be no more “accidents” and I’m sorry, but we had come to far at that point to go back to the Menzah or worse…going back to work the next day with busted plans. I knew I’d never hear the end of it from ANYONE!

So, with a look of imminent death, Chris dropped his head a bit and said “yea.”

So with my hand guiding him, and Mariska’s eyes escorting him out the door, he moved on and we were back to business.

Meanwhile back at the Ranch…Mariska had starting buttering this guy up a little bit, until he laid the drop on us.

What was once just a copy of the credit card turned into a 1000 TD deposit that must be authorized before you leave?

Excellent.

I almost cried, but I managed to keep my cool…somehow.

Mariska made a comment to the extent of “Yea, we’re screwed.” So this is where the plot thickened.

At this point Mr. “P” just looked at Mariska and I like…we could materialize the funds out of thin air, and we just stared right back…saying…”ummm…yea…je suis pas ? “Followed by some excellent moments of awkward silence. For anyone that has been in a foreign land, and wanted to buy something in a little store somewhere and maybe you didn’t know quite how to speak the language yet or how to express what you wanted and the clerk didn’t speak English (or whatever your language is natively), and just paused for those few seconds with that “I don’t know what the heck is going to happen next “grin on his/ her face….

Yea, that was us.

For a moment, we thought about asking Mariska’s friend Rachel (who at this point knew NO ONE except for Mariska) to use her credit card, but that just would’ve been wrong.

So in a fit of panic we did what we only knew as being right.

We called Seelig.

Honestly, if I were Batman (and sometimes I think I am), Brian would be Robin. If I were Sherlock Holmes…Brian would definitely be Watson ; if I were Michael Knight, he’d be KIT…If I were the Green Lantern…he’d be Kato…wait a minute…Kato was Bruce Lee…ok so maybe not Green Lantern but the point should be clear now. Brian is super clutch and is always up for an adventure, so that’s cool.

After calling Brian, our favorite tour guide Ali the Tunisian “Slim Shady” showed his faces again. And Ali happens to have some teeth missing and when his talks things tend to get kind jumbled up and mumbled together…and that’s in French and Arabic! (Which is pretty hard to do because in both languages there are actual rules that make people intentionally SLUR THE WORDS…I kid not). Most of the time I’d look at him and smile and nod and just say …”Oui! Bien Sur, J’ai compri “but I really had no idea what the crap he was saying…or very little.

Anyhow, Slim Shady rolls up and next thing I know this skinny little Tunisian man is grabbing me by arm and taking me outside.

Part of me was laughing, the outside part I think, because inside I was a WRECK! I didn’t know if I was coming or going, and when the drama would end, and how it would be possible for us to just get the car and get out of the city! On paper it was all so very simple, but this night, just wouldn’t let up.

Thank the good Lord that, he just wanted to take me outside to look at the car.

It was pretty funny because we got to the car and everywhere we walked, he mumbled some stuff at me and pointed…

And I just my shook my head.

Until I here “Monte.” Which, I gathered, meant for me to get in the car.

Next thing I know he’s flooring it in this car, actually a van, and flying around the airport telling me how good the car is. And then he gets this great idea….and SLAMS ON THE BRAKES!

I have to admit I was really wondering if he was intentionally trying beat the car up before I got it.

We hop out and he takes me to the front of the car and says, or what I gather he said, “The car is really good, but you have to drive it only between 70-90 kmph and you have to check the oil regularly. As a matter of fact…just but a couple quarts in it when you get back. You SHOULD be able to make it to the South and back….Monte.”

….Right. (Dear God, please help us make it down and back safely in the car and please help me understand this crazy man, and why this other man won’t give us the car. Oh, and God, while you’re looking out for us, can you please just help me make it through this trip with my sanity in tact and health? Please? Thank you. )

It was that serious.

So he drives me around the airport, and then parks illegally in front of a couple police officers. As I “dis-monte” the car, Ali mumbles some more stuff to me and pulls me around back of the car. Just as we were about to walk back inside the airport, one of the police officers stops us and tell us “Hey you can’t park there.” And I tried to let Ali do the talking, but then the cops looked at me. Apparently Slim Shady told them that I was American, and I was dressed in my work clothes as I had come directly from the office, so the cops says…”Where are you from? What are you doing in Tunisia? Blah, Blah, Blah” and I gave him the usual answers.

Everything was great until I told him that I work in Tunisia, but only for 6 months.

At this point I remembered a little point that was interesting.

That point being that I do not have a visa, because I don’t need one for the first 4 months that I am in the country…IF I am on vacation or visiting. Which kinda means that I can’t work ( legally anyway ), which also kinda means that this police officer could’ve changed my life ,or existence, in Tunisia.

Yes. It was an awesome moment.

So, I’m mentally and physically exhausted at this point, and now I’m wrapped up in this conversation with a police officer who wants to know if my boss is with me in airport.

HAHAHA!

I told him, pretty quickly, that I was only working voluntarily and I’m studying here. (Good thinking JD…thank you God ….thank you brain for coming through in the clutch!)

Well, after that we made some jokes and he didn’t ask any more questions so I quickly retreated to the entrance of the airport, and hoped that

1) Brian had showed up
2) Mariska was still holdin it down with Mr. “P”

I guess I kinda felt like a puppet master, except not all the puppets were playing nicely. At this point it was now about 9 pm and we’d been trying to leave the city for 2 hours, and we couldn’t even get out of the airport!

Thankfully as I walked in, so did Brian, and Mariska was holding it down in dude’s office. So that was the breath of fresh air I needed, I was ready to go back to the bargaining table and get it all done. And….then

Brian shows up, whips out his card…and is promptly denied as the “debit card” technology hasn’t quite filtered throughout Tunisia yet.

So…back to the drawing board.

At this point I was broken and desperate, and I told the guy plain out….

“We’ll pay you cash right now for everything. You have my passport info, and Mariska’s credit card info. This is the best we can do. Is there anyway to make this work?”

Mr. “P” looks around….thinks a bit…and says…”Ok. I’ll give you the car. Just be careful.”

: O !!!!

I just about jumped the desk and kissed this guy. (Which in Tunis, isn’t so foreign)

But I kept my cool said thank you, ushered Brian and Mariska out the door and walked out …avec vitesse!

Roll Out:

Despite Ali being, particularly weird, and very shady, I still began to think about rewarding him for his efforts and for taking care of us. If not for him, I don’t know if we would’ve been able to make the trip happen.

As we get to the car, Ali pulls me over, and mumbles in my ear, “Would it be possible for you to drive me home, as I am doing working now?” Now, I thinking…this is kind of awkward, but he did help us out, so the least I could do was give the guy a ride home, and since the airport isn’t in the vicinity of downtown I figured we’d give him a ride and we could call it even.

So we pile in, the Americans (minus Rachel), and Ali. Brian and Mariska were taken a bit by surprise for a minute, I think, especially when Ali started to wedge himself in the car next to Brian, and Brian the “W.T.F” look…it was pretty funny. A definitely welcome smile at that point. So I informed my fellow comrades that we were taking Mr. Ali home for his services.

Then Mariska says….”Well, what about Karim, Lotfi, Rachel, and Chris?” (Who were upstairs in the airport waiting for us?)

Hmm, good question.

They’ll just have to hang out for an extra 15 minutes, and won’t have to know we’re leaving.

Ironically enough, the way to exit the airport took me past the place where they were all staying, and they just happened to be standing outside waiting for us.

Cool, no problem.

I gently switched gears, and hit the accelerator. ; )

So we get into Tunis, after this and I find that there is practically no gas in the car. And Ali sees this as well.

Apparently he must’ve thought I’d never SEEN a car before, as he was now repeatedly informing that the gas is low…how to turn on the radio….how to turn, and steer and even pump gas! (Which you don’t do yourself its full service everywhere here.)

I tried as best I could to give him, hint that I could manage and that we could take it from here.

But he wouldn’t let up.

He was almost relentless at this point to show me things like how to open and close the doors (which actually proved to be tricky with the back door as the car had been covered in dents).
Just when went to leave the gas station…there’s that arm again.

And now Slim Shady was in full affect.

All he said to me was “10 dinars.”

And I said “I know I just paid the gas.”

He repeats “10 dinars.” This time holding one hand out and pointing to it with the other.”

I have “J’ai ne pas” (I don’t have it. Which I didn’t because I spent my money to get the car)

He says “I think, for my services, that I deserve 10 dinars. And you should give it to me now.”

We went back and forth and he just didn’t get it that I didn’t have the money, so I told him….”When I see you at the airport when we return, I’ll give you 5 dinars.”

We agreed and I quickly jumped in the car and drove off again.

RALLY TIME:

So I’ve had enough now. I was WAAAY past ready to leave, and I was still in my work clothes!

So I floor it to the airport, to scoop up the rest of the troops.

Except, now we have ANOTHER issue…how do we all fit in this thing?

Of course, the only way possible….USE the trunk.

It was a great idea and the only way we could sneak away and dodge the police, and with only 2 girls going on this trip….we had to get creative and soon! So Brian and Mariska jump in trunk and spoon or something. We pile in the rest and sped off to the Menzah.

I was under the impression that I could just go home, change clothes, and hit the road.

Hahaha….not this night.

Mariska happened to mention to me that…she forgot one minor detail….PACKING.

Right.

And then I find out that Karim (German Trainee) needs to get a sleeping back from some Aiesec Alum’s apartment (about 30 min round trip).

It was already 11:00 and I knew I would need some serious motivation, just to stay awake. Luckily I was slightly annoyed at this point and had a lot of steam to burn off.

11:30, we pack the car

11:35 Chris loses paper, rock, scissors and he is now the first person who gets “the trunk” for the true beginning of the trip.

11:45….finally 4 and half hours later….we were finally on our way.

We stopped a minute while on the way to the highway, for Rachel to get some cash.

This was one of the hilly parts of the Menzah, and I took a moment. Stared out at the city, took a huge deep breath…exhaled….and screamed.

Whew. Much better.

I was now ready, for this adventure. If this was only the first night…while still in Tunis…who knows what the next 4.5 days had in store.

But I was ready.

Ancient villages, Mountains, Desert, Camels, Oasises, and Star Wars History.

: )

Yea…no matter what happens; this was bound to be the trip of a lifetime.

And I had NO IDEA…how right I was.